im growing up you know

well , this is probably my first post .
in this blogg .
this blog is not meant to be shared .
but if anyone do come across ,
well do whatever .
you see last month ,
when i had a fight with my beloved mom ,
poojitha called and asked if i could be in a short film her brother has to shoot .
and i said yes , i think i promised .
so yeahs .
my fault is i just told her this 2 days ago .
she said yes .
and okay im thrilled .
but yesterday she called home while i was about to have lunch with the team .
and she imformed me that Hana's Graduation Play is on saturday .
and the shoot is on saturday .
so yeahs .
i said tha ti would go ,
fr the shoot .
i mean im sorry .
if i did know tht hana's play is on the same day as my shoot ,
i wouldn't have gone .
then today i asked her through msn ,
wether she was mad at me .
then she asked about what .
so i told her about the saturday thing , with hana and all .
and she said that i chose to go for my other thing so what i s the problem .
then she said anyway its about hana not about saif .
i was like , omg , you think im being biased here .
then reminded her that i was the one that insists that hana should go for the play .
and that i paid for the tickets , well some of it though ,
to prove her that i really do support hana in this play .
then she started talking about my expenditure .
like whatthefuck !
so much for 'it's the thought that counts' !
gah .

if she is going to say about hana and saif
then what about hana and me ?
my singapore team auditions ?
my primary school graduation ?
my kallang carnivals ?
my kindergarten play ?
and guess what , those events that i was in ,
to just be present , IT'S GODDAMN FUCKING FREE !

i mean i don't know .
everything that we talk about ltely always ends up with me and my flaws .
i hate it when she does that .

im just saying that i'll be there , family situations .
be it holidays , deaths , events .
but tell you've never missed a single any one of it ?
im growing up too you know ?
i don't disturb our sunday's .
i haven't been going out this whole holiday !
all i ask to go for a JOB !
its not even and outing with my friends !
maybe i'm asking too much ,
but i ,
fuck this shit .